ThE YeLlOw RiBbOn by .:ning:.

What is goin' wrong in this world that we livin' in
People keep on givin' in...
- Black-eyed Pea feat. J. Timberlake

I'm home two hours early today and just couldn't stop eating. I demolished half a tin of cookies before I even realised what had vanished before my eyes. And it's not like I've been starved or something. I just feel really frustrated about things that happened that I never had a possibility of changing, and the biscuits bear the brunt of it. Pardon the feeble humour.
As it turns out half the world already knows. I got into the car and my mum was all on about our dear Hwa Chong peers already buzzing with the news, as she had heard from a neighbour. How is RJ gonna keep this low-key? It'll be on the front page of a certain sensationalistic newspaper tomorrow, I'll wager.
While I sit here frustrated about a J2 councillor I never knew, who took her own life last night.
It was terrible in school. The air was completely still, everything subdued, no one going to classes. Teachers trying to say the right thing (how I would hate to be a teacher). And while I felt it was completely insensitive to act sad when I would never know her, it was also incongruous to do anything but be supportive. Where we could, which wasn't much. This is not my first experience of losing a schoolmate - my Sec. 3 classmate passed away very suddenly from a serious heart problem, and it's all deja vu going through these motions. Counselling, aftermath, etcetra.
I DO NOT MEAN to undermine this event. In fact I wish something more productive could be done. Surely there's something else besides, inevitably, acting like a double plastic puppet. To learn and recognise the pain and not ignore it - always remember it. Always.
While the school grieves, I anger. I fume about the fact that they have to grieve. I don't understand why this came with no one seeing it, not blaming anyone, and how easy it is to let someone fall off the edge, and how I'm probably doing the same right about now...
Everything I felt these few days seems put on emergency mode now because I know I have to do them, no matter how unpleasant, never to let cowardice get in the way. I have to tell people where they have been hurting me. I have to realise I may be hurting them. And I can't believe I let my easily-built prejudices stand in my way. We have to stick together and forget what dopey misunderstandings we might have had (when it could really be just me).
Look at every person in the eye and know they are precious.
Never give in, I know I won't, but also to never let others give in either.